One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box (Part 2): Minor Robberies by Deb Olin Unferth

One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box (Part 2): Minor Robberies
Author: Deb Olin Unferth
Publisher: McSweeney's Books
Year:2007
Genre: Microfiction
Pages: 143
Number in Series: 2/3: "145 Stories in a Small Box"
Inspirations to other media: N/A

This is the second book out of three contained in "145 Stories in a Small Box," but this is nowhere near as good as Sarah Manguso's.

Like "Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape", there were interesting ideas, situations, and wordings throughout the book. However, Deb Olin Unferth did not handle these anywhere near as well as Sarah Manguso did.

Also, I just couldn't get over the atrocious writing style. The whole no-quotation-marks thing is one thing. I can deal with that. Except when the entire story is a conversation and the speaker changes often.

But there were other issues I had, and note that this isn't with the story! This is with the writing style of a published author! I've never encountered a published author with a poor writing style until now. And I hope that I never have to suffer through one like this again.

Everything is generally written in rather short sentences, but each story had at least one massively awful and completely unnecessary run-on sentence that could be an entire paragraph.
There were little quirks and little cutesy things that tried to be funny or whatever, but ended up just being annoying. For example, here's a direct quote from "Another One":

"There were animals too [sic]. Certainly one dog who lumbered through the house and one dog who never moved but lay, wrapped in a blanket, beside the father who never moved and a mother was always thinking it, the dog, was cold."

The emphasis was, of course, mine.

There are times when clarifying the pronouns can be funny. It generally is when the clarification is grammatically necessary but not always pragmatically so. Meaning, you probably know what the writer means, but it is not 100 percent grammatically correct, so there is a chance of confusion. Such is not the case here.

Technically, this does follow that rule of thumb, but nobody is going to think that "it" was referring to blanket, even though blanket is the antecedent.

And if this were the only issue, that would be fine. But it isn't. "There, There" is a pointless conversation that appears to have been written entirely for the purpose of making a conversation that juxtaposes he and she and here and there in every which way possible. An interesting proposition, but the finished result is just stupid.

I would give this a more thorough review, but I don't want to waste any more time on this rubbish. I really have nothing positive to say here, so I suppose I'll start to wrap this up. Below is a listing of the stories contained within the book and the scores for each of them. Remember, anything under a "B-" should not be published.

La Pena: C
Frank Lloyd Wright: C-
Once She Once Was: B-
Dog: C
Deb Olin Unferth: B-
To Be Honest: C+
Brevity: D+
Minor Robberies: E
Maybe a Superhero: C
Juan the Cell-Phone Salesman: B-
Passport: D
Soap: B+
Minute Lives of Great Composers: B-
Give Them the Bag: C
Single Percent: A-
Things That Went Wrong Thus Far: B
Bad: C
The Present of Concern: B+
Another One: D
En Transito: C+
Relations: C
Ax: F
Twice: C+
There, There: D+
Sickos: B
A Kidnapping Story: F
The Container: C
To Do: C+
Secondly They Are: D
Managing: E
The Messenger: B
House-Sitting: B-
Vacation: B+
Time That Another: C+
Pass: 12/34 (35.3%)
Fail: 22/34 (64.7%)


Overall: E+

This was actually one of the few things that I've ever read that was truly unenjoyable. I think I've hated my life for the past few days as I've read this. The main reason any of these stories got above a "D" was because of originality. I never thought I'd actually give a professional, published work an "F", and here I've given out two.

Final Word: A sincerely unenjoyable experience.

Recommend?: No. Not at all. Geez. In fact, I've already taken this book up to the library and left it there to be sold to some unfortunate sap.

I feel sorry for whoever wastes a quarter on this, but even more so on whoever wastes their time reading this. For example, myself. I also feel sorry for the trees on whom this dribble is printed.

In case I didn’t make it obvious enough, do not waste your time reading this.

P.S.: I can no longer find the book of the shelf of books to be sold at the library. That means either someone bought it -- poor soul -- or that someone read a little of it, realized it sucked, and threw it out. I hate to be so mean, but I cannot deny the truth.

~ SE (Vega Boralis)

This review ©2010 Richard Gibson
One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box: Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape ©2007 by Sarah Manguso and McSweeney's Books
One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box: Minor Robberies ©2007 by Deb Olin Unferth and McSweeney's Books
All images courtesy Google Images.

One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box: Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape by Sarah Manguso

One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box (Part 1): Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape
Author: Sarah Manguso
Publisher: McSweeney's Books
Year: 2007
Genre: Microfiction
Pages: 83
Number in Series: 1/3: "145 Stories in a Small Box"
Inspirations to other media: N/A

I normally do my reviews in a very specific way, discussing several different aspects of the book systematically. However, in my review of "SeinLanguage," I was unable to because of the structure of the book. "Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape" is of a similar vein in that it does not contain the traditional structure of a book.

However, semi-fortunately, the similarities end there: For one, this isn't satire, but the primary difference is that this is good. I must say that I did not expect it to be good.

This is the sixth author that I've had to read for my creative writing class, and, I must say, this is the first one of them that I've liked. This is the first thing that was required reading that I have enjoyed. A poor record, eh?

In any case, this is part of a fairly new genre of fiction called "microfiction." Some of the things that define this series is anything under six pages in length, a complete lack of quotation marks, and generally a lack of purpose. While Sarah's book has the first two qualities, the third is absent.

Each of the vignettes (look it up) is either a short character sketch, an odd event, or a very interesting thought or train thereof. I call them vignettes for several reasons:

1) That's the technical term.
2) They're too short for chapters, and that also requires the whole to be a cohesive story.
3) They aren't always stories in and of themselves.
4) Who doesn't like French words? (Me!)

However, the vast majority of them are sincerely and exceptionally interesting. Some make absolutely no sense because none of the sentences relate to the others at all. Aside from those two or three, about 85 percent or so were very interesting. The main purpose of the majority of these vignettes is to make you think or at least stop for a moment and consider.

Manguso has very interesting descriptions. In one of the stories, she relates a memory she has of being a young child. She was told by her parents to not wander into the woods behind her house. She eventually goes about ten feet into the woods and sees a beautiful sunset and flowers and such. Her reaction? She is alarmed because she thinks she'll never see anything that beautiful ever again (61).

That's interesting! No-one would ever anticipate such a reaction, but it makes sense, especially coming from a child. This book is filled with such descriptions and stories and ideas and characters. Everything is believable and enjoyable. Many of them make you wish you thought of them. The entire book seems very genuine.

I read this entire book in one sitting. There are a couple of reasons for that:

1) It's 83 pages.
2) It was due the next day.
3) It was incredibly enjoyable.

On a side note: After reading some authors, you may decide that you'd never want to meet them either because they are likely to be total jerks or the most inscrutable people on earth or just way beyond too weird. I'd like to meet Sarah Manguso; she seems realistically unique, just like the book.

Overall Grade: A+

Final Word: An enjoyable series of interesting details, characters, thoughts, and anecdotes.

Recommend?: Yes, definitely. Besides, it only took an hour. You can spare an hour for good reading. No, really, you can. Trust me on this.

~SE (Vega Boralis)

This review ©2010 Richard Gibson
One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box: Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape ©2007 by Sarah Manguso (McSweeney's Books, San Francisco)
All images courtesy Google Images.

Text Book Review: On Bullshit by Harry G. Frankfurt

On Bullshit
Author: Harry G. Frankfurt
Publisher: Princeton University Press
Year: 2005
Genre: Essay
Pages: 67
Number in Series: N/A
Inspirations to other media: N/A

So, I find this little book called "On Bullshit" at the library and can't help but read the first couple of pages. I realize it's an essay on BS and think, "I wonder if this dude is serious or if this entire essay is BS." And as such, I am highly intrigued and read the entire thing.

It turns out that the author, who is a philosophy professor at Princeton, is totally serious about this essay. His thesis is, in summary, "We have no theory or understanding of bullshit." and while Frankfurt is totally serious about this essay, you can't help but find humor in it. I mean, this Princeton professor wrote an essay on BS. Just that thought alone is simultaneously funny and fascinating.

The text is so meticulously wrought and well-researched that it's hilarious. Frankfurt is totally serious about his BS.

All humor aside, this is really a very thought-provoking essay. He makes some excellent points and introduces ideas I had never considered.

His opening thoughts are very true: there is so much BS around us and we think we know so much about it that nobody has ever really thought long and hard about BS in and of itself (1).

Frankfurt discusses how honest people know and tell the truth, whereas liars know the truth and tell lies in order to oppose that truth.

BSers, on the other hand, don't necessarily know the truth but, more importantly, they don't care about the truth and just say whatever fits the situation or whatever they want. He says that truth and lies are playing opposite sides in a game, whereas BS just runs in and kicks the ball (56).

Now we know why he is a Princeton professor.

I would like to share one of his closing thoughts: Due to the postmodern idea that we cannot know truth, some people have stopped looking for and sharing real truth and reverted to sharing what is true about themselves. They have gone from reality to sincerity. Here's what Frankfurt has to say about that: "Our natures are, indeed, elusively insubstantial... And insofar as this is the case, sincerity itself is bullshit (67)."

Overall: B+

Final Word: An uncommon approach and an interesting look into a common and superficially simple subject.

Recommend?: Definitely. It literally took me a minute per page to read, and that was only because I was taking notes and considering his points.

~ SE (Vega Boralis)

This review ©2010 Richard Gibson
On Bullshit ©2005 by Princeton University Press
All images courtesy Google Images.

Text Video Game Review: Donkey Kong 64

Donkey Kong 64

Platform: Nintendo 64
Developer: Rare
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Platform
Game Rating: Everyone
Price: $9.75
Released December 10, 1999

Donkey Kong is quite the character. He began his life as a prankster who stole princesses and took them to construction sites. Then he taught his children math. Then he got a tie, a girlfriend, an island, countless bananas, and an arch-nemesis. Using these items, he spawned a trilogy of games that he was only an important character in one of.

"Donkey Kong 64" is "Donkey Kong Country's" plot put in 3-D with three new Kongs and a slew of new weapons, abilities, and collectibles. King K. Rool steals DK's banana horde and DK has to go get them back.

I've never understood why a reptile would want so many bananas, especially on account of it being such an annoying word to spell and all.

However, K. Rool has thrown in two new twists: he has kidnapped all of DK's relatives so they can't help him get the bananas back, and, while DK is out and about, K. Rool plans on destroying DK Isle.

Fortunately for DK, K. Rool's minions are brainless and K. Rool is too lazy to do anything himself.

Gameplay: B+

Fairly straight forward. Go to any given area and collect four Golden Bananas, 100 colored bananas, and a blueprint -- which will net the fifth Golden Banana -- for each Kong. During that time find two fairies, Candy, Kranky, and Funky. After that, go beat the boss with the designated character. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Each area introduces new challenges, new enemies, new minigames, and new abilities. Jump, shoot, kick, fight, and bash your face into everything that moves -- and some things that don't -- until you have won back DK's banana horde and driven K. Rool out of DK's waters.

Again, this is fairly simple. Nevertheless, it is done well and is fun. The only complaint is that some of the areas are a little too big and open to navigate easily.

Difficulty: B

Honestly, it was a little too easy. Nothing was all that challenging. The main reason this is disappointing is because the "DK Country" games provided a good deal of challenge. In "DK 64," even many of the boss battles weren't difficult. In fact, the majority of them did the same thing and even had the same graphic for their attack.

The only minigames that were difficult would have been easy if the playability were any better.

Entertainment Value: A+

The best part of the game. This game is frickin' hilarious. Everything is either a sight gag, sounds funny, or is just bizarre. From everything being done by monkeys and crocodiles to DK kicking a blue squeaking beaver to a huge, dumb, and buff ape playing a triangle to totem poles eating peanuts and everything else. I mean, this game gives deadly musical instruments and flippin' guns to monkeys. What couldn't be funny about this?

This would have easily been an H if the difficulty and playability didn't detract from it. Some things are so easy and yet so difficult to execute or maneuver that some of the fun is robbed. Fortunately, this is still fun and very humorous.

Playability: C+

Easily the worst part of this game. Some things were almost unforgivably bad. The controls aren't difficult or anything; on the contrary, it's very simple to key in the myriad of different moves.

The problem is that the game is clumsy and clunky. If you've ever played "Super Mario 64," you understand that the camera is a huge problem for 3-D platformers. "DK 64" didn't improve upon "Mario 64's" camera work; in fact, it's even worse at times.

But the camera wasn't the only problem. The physics didn't seem quite right, some abilities don't seem to activate when they should, and restarting any failed minigames takes far too long. The playability is so bad in certain places, I quit and have since avoided certain minigames, and I never quit things like that.

Graphics: H

This game introduced the Nintendo 64's Expansion Pack, which was a chip you put into the system in a slot in front of the cartridge slot. It improved the N64's graphics by increasing the RAM and other aspects, and this allowed it to process the graphics quicker and to a greater extent.

Because of this technology, the landscapes in "DK 64" are lush, detailed, and very vast. In some cases, they are almost too vast. The oddball hands that are present in many 64-bit era games are not present here. In fact, K. Rool has individual fingers, and he taps them in a very menacing way. The characters are well-made and look great.

This is pretty much top-of-the-line for an N64 game. Rare never seems to make a game that doesn't have fantastic graphics, especially when it comes to Donkey Kong. The original "DK Country" games had unbelievably good graphics for the SNES, and "DK 64" does not disappoint in this aspect.

Sound Effects: B+

The sounds are good and accurate, and some are riotously funny, such as the beavers and some of the fruit ammo for the guns. (That's right, you shoot bees and crocodiles and switches with fruit.) Nothing was annoying or repetitive, though there didn't seem to be quite as many different SFX as you'd expect there to be.

Music: B-

Nothing stood out as being very good. The few remakes of classic DK themes that were present didn't improve upon the original scores; the older SNES versions are more enjoyable. However, on the flip side, none of the music, original or remade, was bad. It just wasn't above average.

Originality: B

Not entirely original. The gameplay and such are fairly simple, as is the idea of a new ability per world and a shared ammo system. Nothing really had an original spin on it save the Banana Fairies and the overall humor of the game. The plot is also the same old thing, save that K. Rool is trying to blow up DK Isle.

Characters: B+

While these characters don't have any back story to them, they don't need any. Who cares how DK and Diddy are related -- I think they're cousins-- much less any of the rest of them? The only question on the characters is this: why did they rename Dixie to Tiny? Tiny is simply Dixie in a different outfit.

But the characters don't need to grow or have back story or have complex motives in this game because the plot isn't important. The gameplay, exploration, and collection are the important things.

Plot: B

Negligible. It's simply a modified "damsel-in-distress" -- yes, bananas count as damsels -- motif that plays little part in how the game is played out. Sure, every quest-item is a banana, but it wouldn't have made the game any different if they were badgers. However, the plot doesn't affect the gameplay at all, so it doesn't matter if it is overly simple.

Replay Value: C+

Playing this again would be like watching a stand-up comedy routine again. It's funny even though you can predict the laughs. However, you don't have to control a stand-up comedy routine. The playability issues and the lack of difficulty in this game don't make me want to replay it again anytime soon. I can recall the funny parts well enough to get the laughs I'd want if I played the game again.

Overall Grade: B

Really, this game is good. It's fun and hilarious, entertaining and enjoyable, beautiful and good. The only reason it didn't get a higher grade was because of the low scores on playability and difficulty. That's really it. If it were just a little bit harder and easier to play, this would have easily gotten an A.

Unfortunately, it also had the legacy of the "DK Country" games with which to compete, and that's a high standard for anybody. However, putting that aside, it is really a good game in its own right.

Final Word:

A good and exceedingly hilarious game, but it doesn't quite live up to Donkey Kong's standards.

Recommend?:

If you've got an N64 and like platformers, then I definitely say, "Yes!", but only do so if irritants like the camera in "Mario 64" didn't piss you off. If they did, the playability issues in "DK 64" will be too annoying for even the grand humor in this game to overcome.

~ SE (Vega Boralis)

This review ©2010 Richard Gibson
Donkey Kong, all kongs, King K. Rool, and the like are ©1981-2010 Nintendo
Donkey Kong Country ©1994 Nintendo
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy Kong's Quest ©1995 Nintendo
Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble! ©1996 Nintendo
Super Mario 64 ©1996 Nintendo
Nintendo 64 ©1996 Nintendo
Super Nintendo Entertainment System ©1990 Nintendo
All images courtesy Google Images.

Text Book Review: The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog by Dave Barry

The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog
Author: Dave Barry
Publisher: Berkley Trade
Year: 2006
Genre: Semi-Autobiographical; Holiday; Comedy
Pages: 117
Number in Series: N/A
Inspirations to other media: N/A

First off, let me just say that it has gotten very annoying typing out the world's longest title numerous times over the past few weeks. In fact, it's so long, my computer is definitely going to give me a filename and/or path is too long error the next time I open this. I swear, it takes just as long to type the entire title as it does to type the entire book. Anyway. Moving on.

Dave Barry is a satirist. He -- at least used to -- write(s) a weekly column of satire. He's also written many books of satire which were all non-fiction. When you read those, you wouldn't think that the guy would capable of writing good fiction. I mean, fiction and non-fiction are entirely different animals. Satire is all about taking what's real and making it funny, or seeing the humor in it, or at least pitching it in a funny way.

Nevertheless, this is a very well-written fictional story, though it seems to me that there is an auto-biographical overtone. This book has all of Dave Barry's charm and all the things that you love about a satirist. It also has most of the laughs and the same quality of humor as a comedian. Basically, this book is going to make you laugh and smile about a lot of things.

Characters: B+

Most of the characters are children. They aren't exactly unique, except the main character, Doug Barnes. A lot of the characters seem to be something like stereotypes or archetypes, but those aren't quite the word I'm looking for. There's the strict Christmas pageant director, the strong-silent-type dad, and the hyperactive little sister. Not at all unique characters.

However, when archetypes are done well, the story can still be enjoyable. Such was the case with this book.

Plot: B

This book seems to be a recollection of some of Dave Barry's favorite childhood Christmas stories. Whether or not these happened to him or if they are a combination of several stories, I will never know. Regardless, you can see that the man lived through these times and this town and this type of childhood.

Since the story is told to us by a preteen boy, Doug Barnes, it has some of that lack of consistency. That is to say, it starts out as a random collection of memories and we eventually get to the title story. All of those stories are good, but the main story is the best. All I really need to say is that "Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog" sums up all you need to know about the plot. If I tell you any more, I'd end up telling you the whole book. I mean, it's really short.

Setting: B-

If I may go so far as to quote the book I'm reviewing, Dave Barry says that, "This book is dedicated to the wonderful, quirky people I grew up with in Armonk, New York. Any resemblance between them and the characters in this book is, frankly, a bewildering coincidence." Now, I might be missing the mark, but I think it's safe to say that, although the book is set in the Christmas season of 1960 in Asquont, New York, the real setting is Armonk.

Dialogue: A-

I can't say that anything was crazy-good, but it definitely wasn't bad. Listening to children talk is generally pretty funny, and that's much of this book.

Details: A

This is told from a kid's perspective, so the details given are atypical, which makes for a good story. If you ever listen to a child tell a story, you can discern a lot about the child and what really happened from the details they give and the ones they omit. Such is the case with Doug Barnes.

Originality: B+

Again, the characters weren't overly original, but the stories definitely were. While it isn't a radically different way of looking at childhood or Christmas, it is a fun take on the subjects. The picture/illustrations are a good addition and seem to add to the semi-nostalgic feel of the book.

Writing Style: Pass+

Other than the quirkiness of the book, I'd say this is the selling point. It really sounds like a preteen boy is reading this book to you. It has the verbal and topical ADD, as well as the slip-ups and false starts and whatnot. While those things can be irritating to listen to, when Dave Barry talks that way, it's funny and enjoyable.

Opening: A-

As soon as you open the book, you know it isn't going to be your usual story. But that's a good thing. The first page is an ad of Santa smoking. Yeah. Smoking. I'm not kidding. What more do I need to say?

The Middle: B

Once we get into the title story and you realize it isn't as short as the others, you get comfortable and settle in. It's all good, but just a touch confusing, especially considering the title story starts as a I'm-telling-you-this-story-to-explain-something-about-the-story-I-was-just-telling-you type of story. But that has its own charm, I suppose.

Closing: B

While it lacks the type of ending you would expect, the story does indeed wrap up all that it needs to wrap up. I mean, Doug is just a kid. He isn't even a teenager yet, so it's not like we can close the story of his life or anything like that. It isn't an abrupt ending or anything of the sort, but it does come a little bit sooner than you might expect, and you don't exactly realize it's the ending until you turn the next page to find that it's empty.

Length: B

I never thought I'd say this, but the book was a little short. I mean, I didn't think you could sell an non-kid's book that was this short. It's almost too short for a short story. If this were in a volume or collection or something, that would be one thing. But it's not. You almost feel gypped.

Note that I say "almost". The book was good. So, even if you bought the book, you'd still get enough laughs for your cash.

Overall: B+

Quite good. While it didn't leave as good of memories as some other Dave Barry things I've read, I'll most likely read this again next year. Again, it can be read in a matter of minutes, so it may as well be added to the traditions list. Very funny and original with a good style and perspective.

Final Word:
Short and sweet fiction by a great satirical columnist.

Recommend?:
Yes. I mean, you may as well. When Christmas comes again, take a few hours to go to your local library and read this. It will honestly only take that long.

~ SE (Vega Boralis)

This review is ©2010 Richard Gibson
The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog ©2006 Dave Barry
All images courtesy Google Images.

Text Book Review: Skipping Christmas by John Grisham

Skipping Christmas
Author: John Grisham
Publisher: Dell
Year: 2001
Genre: Holiday, Comedy, Drama
Pages: 177
Number in Series: N/A
Inspirations to other media: "Christmas with the Kranks," a 2004 movie by Revolution Studios Distribution Company, LLC.

Ever get stressed out at Christmas time? Ever loathe having to go to another event filled with people you don't know and/or don't want to spend time with? Ever find yourself scrimping or doing whatever possible to save a buck or two when buying Christmas gifts?

If you answer "No!" to any of these, you're lying.

Admit it. Christmas is fun, but it can be stressful as the dickens. It's expensive, hectic, crowded, and the December weather sure doesn't help.

Ever wish you could just avoid the whole mess? Maybe you haven't, but Luther Krank sure wished he could. When his only child, his twenty-three-year-old daughter Blair, leaves on a Peace Corps mission to Peru, he decides to convince his wife into bucking the system and going on a cruise.

Luther Krank doesn't hate Christmas. He just hates wasting tons of money on things nobody wants. He hates being quilted into unnecessary and undeserved expenses. He isn't a Grinch or a Scrooge, he's just an accountant.

Luther's neighborhood, on the other hand, loves Christmas. They are also very nosy and gossip a lot. What will happen when they learn of the Krank's idea to skip Christmas?

Characters: A+

Luther, his wife Nora, and the neighbors are all very well-done. They are individual, eccentric, unique, quirky, and interesting. Grisham always fills his stories with tons of characters, and sometimes they each lack a good and distinct personality. Such was not the case in "Skipping Christmas".

It seemed as if these characters had a lot of personal basis, as if Grisham had personally seen all of these kinds of people during his life and incorporated them into the book. Real life characters are the best way to get good fictional characters.

Plot: A

Excellent. A good starting idea. Who wouldn't want to avoid all the Christmas stress? I bet only a few people would think of Luther's plan, way fewer would act upon it, and even fewer still would act upon it in the fashion in which Luther does.

That's what makes this plot so good. By the second chapter or so, I was wondering what would be the tension in the story. Would Luther's boss be on the cruise? Would Nora chicken out at the last second? Would the cruise get canceled somehow? I had no idea.

In both of Grisham's books that I've read so far, he is very good at keeping the tension constant as the story progresses. "Skipping Christmas" was no different.

Setting: A

Hemlock Street and Luther's entire neighborhood are very interesting places. I don't recall ever being told of a state or even a city in which Luther lives, but we don't need one: Hemlock Street probably exists in several towns in the USA.

Besides, Hemlock street is so interesting in and of itself. The whole town is very interesting. It's a very unique and quirky place. Everything is well-done and meshes very well with the whole. I wouldn't exactly want to live there -- and I think you'll agree with me -- but it would be a fun place to visit around December 21 or so.

Dialogue: A-

The spoken dialogue itself wasn't anything that floored me, but it was very solid. The best part of the dialogue was what Luther thought but did not say. The things that go on in Luther's head are pretty much the best parts of the book.

The conversations with the minor characters are just as solid, if not more so, than the ones with the main characters. They are also some of the funniest.

Details: A-

The weakest part of the book, but that's not saying much. Don't think that this was weak or bad, because it wasn't at all. An A- is a good and very acceptable grade. The only reason this got an A- and not an A was because of one scene that was difficult to visualize. That's all.

Again, the setting and events are very detailed. The characters aren't given a very in-depth description, but you can get a mental picture of them with the personality they have.

Originality: A-

A Christmas story that shows Christmas for what it has become: overbearing. Not only does it have the traditions, eccentricities, and stress of the season, but it still manages to retain morals and the reason for the holiday. It really has it all.

Before reading this book, I had never thought of trying to entirely skip the season. Parts of it, for sure, but not a boycott of the entire thing. Nor had I ever thought of summing up the expenses of it. However, I am not an accountant, as Luther is.

In case you've been wondering, this is the same John Grisham that writes books like "The Pelican Brief" and "A Time to Kill." Yeah, all of those really long legal novels. And then he churns out a short novella about Christmas with no reference to legal things. You would never know that this dude had a legal firm by reading this book.

Writing Style: Pass

Grisham has a solid style. It's very lucid and clear; it's interesting and varies as it should. I am somewhat surprised that he is able to write with such brevity. All the rest of his books are legitimate novels at over 300 pages. This one was only 177 pages because the physical book is so small.

Opening: H+

Fantastic. I read the first line and thought, "That's a good first line." I read the first page and thought, "I like this quite a bit, actually." And then I was done with the first chapter and said, "Well, I'll probably finish this tonight." Hook, line, and sinker. I don't really know why I liked the opening so well; all I know is that I did.

It may have had something to do with the fact that, at first, we just saw the airport and didn't know why or what. We are given the scene, and then the who and the why. And it's a good who and why.

The Middle: H

Nothing was boring, nothing was dreary. I never wondered how many pages I had left; I was curious how long the book was, but never with the mentality of, "When will this end?" or "How long until this gets better?"

The tension is kept at the level it needs to be and picks up very quickly near the end, which doesn't come too soon, but it definitely isn't too late.

Closing: H-

The other two Grisham books I read seemed to lack a few things at the end. A couple of loose ends still existed and never seemed to be tied up. Not the case with "Skipping Christmas". All details were tied up, even one that could have gone by the wayside. Excellent.

Length: A+

As is typical with Grisham, there are a couple of parts that could have been left out to make the book shorter. However, I don't think anything in "Skipping Christmas" was unnecessary. Anything that was in the book had a reason or was used later; nothing was just a meaningless flash.

The book was a very enjoyable length. It didn't drag on at all and it didn't omit anything that should have been present. Just when you thought Grisham might drag it on for another couple chapters, he starts the ending sequence. Suddenly, everything starts happening very quickly, and you're glad he didn't wait any longer because the rising action of the book is more than excellent.

Overall: H

I was stunned by this. I didn't expect to give out an H ever, honestly, much less this soon into the whole reviewing business. However, I'm ecstatic that this book is worthy of such a grade. Nothing was subpar. In fact, everything was at least a birdie if I may. I don't even like golf.

Final Word:
Excellent. Concentrated goodness. Another winner by Grisham.

Recommend?:
Definitely. A quick read; you could easily fit this in to your Christmas schedule this year. At only 20 chapters, you could easily pace yourself, though you might find it hard to put down once the tension starts building.

You may not have heard of John Grisham's "Skipping Christmas" book before, but you may have heard of the movie "Christmas with the Kranks." The movie was based on the book. While the book gets an H, the movie gets a much less respectable B.

It wasn't Tim Allen's best performance, but he was a great choice for Luther Krank. I don't think Jamie Lee Curtis did a good job as Nora. Dan Aykroyd was well-suited to his role part as Vic Frohmeyer, but it could have used a bit more energy.

The movie stayed about as true to the book as you could have asked. The only things that were omitted were minor -- though funny -- and were left out only so the movie wouldn't be too long. The few things that were added, however, were odd and not the most well-done.

Overall, it wasn't a bad movie, but it definitely will not be added to the annual list of Christmas movies. And if you want to get this story, read the book; the movie runs at ninety-nine minutes, and the book won't take much more than five hours total to read.

So, in short, read the book. I'll normally say that when it comes to a book versus a movie adaptation, but, seriously, read the book. It's fantastic.

~ SE (Vega Boralis)

Skipping Christmas ©2001 John Grisham
Christmas with the Kranks ©2004 Revolution Studios Distribution Company, LLC.
The Grinch and How the Grinch Stole Christmas ©1957 Dr. Suess
Scrooge and A Christmas Carol ©1843 Charles Dickens
The Pelican Brief ©1992 John Grisham
A Time to Kill ©1989 John Grisham
All images courtesy Google Images.

Text Book Review: SeinLanguage

SeinLanguage
Author: Jerry Seinfeld
Publisher: Bantam
Year: 1994
Genre: Satire; Comedy; Semi-biographical
Pages: 180
Number in Series: N/A
Inspirations to other media: "Seinfeld," a television show

This isn't a fictional narrative or a story, so I can't review it as I did "Code Talker" and as I will with most other books. As such, I suppose I'll just discuss it.

As you may have seen in the Drive-By Reviews, I read "Dave Barry Turns 40" and Tim Allen's "Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man" this year. I've read some Dave Barry columns and I've also read Brad Stine -- a Christian comedian -- and listened to his stand up routines before. I've also read some Kurt Vonnegut -- who died recently.

I've watched "Seinfeld" and really like it. I wouldn't even mind having a few seasons of it. I think Jerry's really funny in that and the whole show is funny and well-done. I especially like how the plots always intertwine in some bizarre way, but I digress.

Jerry Seinfeld's "SeinLanguage," however, just wasn't as good as any of those other books I mentioned. "Dave Barry Turns 40" got an A- and "Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man" a B-.

Out of 180 pages, I should have laughed out loud nearly 30 times. I did laugh out loud several times, but I don't even think it was a dozen times. I couldn't read "Dave Barry Turns 40" in public, and especially not at the library. I could have read "SeinLaguage" at a funeral and not been disturbing.

Now, granted, reading a stand-up book is a lot harder then listening to the guy deliver his bits. I'm sure any books Bill Cosby wrote are hilarious, but it would be better to see him give the show. It's in the vocal inflections, the timing, and the facial expressions -- which Cosby always nails. Seinfeld actually addressed this issue in the introduction to the book.

Obviously, from watching "Seinfeld," I can hear his voice in my head saying the words that he has written. I can hear, to an extent, how he would say certain things: his timing, his delivery, his inflections are audible to me as I read this.

However, that didn't really help. A good portion of this book just wasn't very funny. It made me smile, maybe a giggle. However, this isn't going to influence how I write satire, which Dave Barry has totally done.

A couple of the lines were memorable. I read a few to my wife, but I'm not going to copy any down and save them. None of them were that good.

Three or four bits in this book were in "Seinfeld" episodes that I've seen. I'm assuming most of them are; I haven't seen all the episodes and there's 9 seasons of "Seinfeld", so it's probable. This kind of helped, but it just made me think of the TV show and not like the book any more.

So, it was a bit of a disappointment, overall. At the library I work at, I get to take any books that are for sale without paying for them. That being said, I'm not upset about this book or anything. I will, however, be taking it back. I expect a few more good, quality laughs out of Seinfeld.

Whatever. I'll just go watch a few episodes of "Seinfeld" and my opinion of the man will again be improved.

Overall Grade: C

Final Word:
Meh. Just watch "Seinfeld" or read Dave Barry if you want a good laugh.

Recommend?:
No. I mean, if you really want to. If you find Seinfeld riotously funny, then sure. Otherwise, no.

~ SE (Vega Boralis)

This review ©2010 Richard Gibson
SeinLanguage ©1994 Jerry Seinfeld
Code Talker: A Novel About the Navajo Marines of World War Two ©2006 John Bruchac
Dave Barry Turns 40 ©1991 Dave Barry
Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man ©1995 Tim Allen
Seinfeld ©1990 NBC Universal
All images courtesy Google Images.